My body doesn't like me

Last summer (June) I was in rehearsal for an 'actors ballet'. Anyway, the point is no one in the cast were dancers but myself in particular has VERY little skill in dance. I've always been interested in sports but I'm no athlete except in my mind. Sometime during rehearsals and the run of the show I did some damage to my knee. I was warming up. I felt a light stretch and heard some 'noise,' something that sounded like when you sit in a bean bag chair--that sound of styrofoam beads rubbing against each other. I figured I'd over stretched.

I had so many other injuries including a broken toe that the over stretched knee was nothing. I rested and iced and elevated and took anti-inflammatory and hoped for the best. And it did seem to get better. A month after the show I was riding without any complaints that I can remember. Starting around December whenever I would need to stand for say more than 30 mins my knee would start to twinge, then ache, then scream in sharp pain and almost lockup And it's been that way ever since. I can go days without feeling any pain but if I stand for any length of time-BAM! My knee let's me have it.

The thing is, I can't really isolate the pain. It is in the front/inside but feels like it's deep inside the joint not an outside pain. Even when it hurts I can't find a 'center' area it doesn't hurt to press on but I'll be damned if I can bend it or if I'm already kneeling get up again. And the pain is real.

The elbow is another area of constant pain. The joint area on the inside/underneath part of my arm just hurts to touch. Ice doesn't seem to help, heat does a little but not appreciatively and ibuprofen does nothing. This also manifested during rehearsals. I had this one move where I was to lean backwards like a waterfall and touch the floor behind me with my hand then come up. I recall hitting the floor sort of hard with my full weight at one point and that's when I think the trouble began. It didn't hurt at the time instead I felt it a few weeks after the show ended. I noticed it most when riding and thought maybe it had to do with the placement of my handlebars. My bike shop guy thought I might be locking my elbows when riding. But I haven't been on the Catbird since early November and the pain hasn't gone away at all.

So now I'm looking forward to spring and wondering how the knee will respond to riding amongst other activities.

On a side note:

IF you are one of those people who openly discusses your weight/appearance at social gatherings...does it ever occur to you to look around and consider how your comments affect the feelings of other people? IF you really DO feel that bad about yourself, ok, but it's a downer save it for a therapist or spouse or diary or private conversation with a trusted friend. BUT if you are just seeking attention, as in you want people to say nice things about you, can you find some other way to do it? Please? Those of us who really ARE fat don't need constant reminders about our appearance. We know. Really. We know when we stand next to you at these gatherings looking like giants. We know when we shop for clothing, we know when we sit in seats that don't hold us, we know when we are hungry and don't eat because you might give us the look--you know the one you give, the one that screams "maybe you wouldn't be fat if you at less" yes, yes you do.--except you have no idea when/what/how I eat or why I am overweight. So look, I'm sorry if you WERE a size 0 and NOW you are a size 2 or that you WERE a size 4 and NOW you are a size 8. Maybe for your frame and height and age that IS fat, but honestly standing next to me NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WILL TELL YOU YOU ARE FAT. So please don't come stand next to me and say those horrible things about yourself because I am just self centered enough to believe you are really saying those things about me--even if you aren't--that's how it feels.