RIP Shadow

Early this morning I lost my "canine nephew" Shadow to a fast moving and extensive cancer. Diagnosed in mid March he was given 1 - 2 months to live. I had been planning to drive down to Virginia to visit with him today. Last night Bill called to tell us Shadow wasn't doing well. Diane said she just had a feeling he wouldn't make it through the night. Sure enough, Bill called us at 7AM to say Shadow was gone.

He was an amazing dog. Very affable and a great ambassador for canines everywhere. Easy to train, easy to live with. He loved to play doggie soccer. Whenever the ball would get stuck at a fence he would stand and lean over it barking at it, willing it move on its own and get back in the game. He loved to play tug and would kindly let you win. Shadow was only about 6 months older than Titan- my first basenji and they were best of friends. We are sure that he knew just how hard this was on his family. Yesterday Bill said he sat outside sitting in the sun letting the wind blow his floppy ears, a favorite pastime, but he had stopped eating and was breathing heavily. They told us his breathing eased over night and he seemed he might hold on this morning but by 7 he passed.

There is no good way to lose an animal friend. Passing away or being put to sleep, old age, or illness, old, or young, there just is never a good way to say goodbye. It is cliche but dogs really do live in the moment and live 100%. Dogs don't generally hold back anything they are feeling, which is why, I believe dog lovers are so attracted to them, why it is so easy to bond emotionally with them and why it is so devastating to lose them. Dogs give us a dose of love, companionship, devotion, trust, and loyalty over an average of 12 years in a quantity rarely matched by many humans in 70+ years of life. Perhaps we dole out our enthusiasm for life, for love and each other in smaller quantities because we know we have so long to live. I have read that many humans, when given a fatal diagnosis, become more like the reformed Scrooge in Dickens' A Christmas Carol. Again, cliche I know, but why do we wait? Why do we hold back? It makes me wonder about our 'civilization' a place where we are free to express hate, anger and all forms of judgment and opinion but can't muster up the same intensity of love, friendship and devotion.

Is it becasue dogs have no sense of time, that we understand anyway, that they truly live the adage "live like there are no tommorows" Or are they just naturally free from self judgemet, unaffected by opinions, unfettered by social custom.

I am intensely sad. I wanted so much to see Shadow before he died. I will miss him terribly. If there is an afterlife, a rainbow bridge, I hope my Titan and Shadow are reunited again for plenty of long runs along the beach and naps on a comfy couch, great bone chewing sessions and lots of warm sunshine.