"Beggars can't be choosers" Why not?

"Be careful what you wish for" is a common enough refrain. We all know what it means, we've all experienced that phenomenon. You want something, you get it and then it turns out not to be what you thought you wanted.

[you want a job, you get it only to discover you have no aptitude for the job and you hate your co-workers but you need the money]

Or when you get something and it is almost what you want / could have been what you want but for a few elements that you couldn't have predicted that lessen the experience or even make it miserable.

[you want a job, you get it, you love it, but the pay is terrible and you end up in a different location than you thought making your commute longer and more costly than anticipated]

There are some events, commitments coming up in the near future. Some I thought I wanted but once involved discovered the experience was not at all what I had hoped or expected. Others I still want but now that specific elements have changed the situation is just different enough to make it far less enjoyable than originally expected.

My impulsive reply is to abandon those things that don't result in me feeling good about myself or the work I've done. Then again, to quit brings with it future complications and a guarantee that the same opportunity won't present itself again.

Ultimately I know need to make decisions that I hope will make me happiest and not be so concerned about the happiness of others. Except I depend on the happiness of others for my employment sometimes very indirectly and it makes decisions complicated.

I seem to routinely find myself making decisions not about what is good for me or my happiness but rather what will make me least unhappy.

Then again, that's life. It is what it is. It is impossible to control all the elements. I remind myself daily that it is ok to be disappointed. Just because I thought I wanted something doesn't mean I have to like it once I get it. Just because I don't like something in one situation doesn't mean I won't like it in a different version.

For example: Let's say I really want to go on a picnic. I go on and on about how much I LOVE picnics and how I never have the opportunity to go on one and rarely get invited to one. A picnic on the side of a highway is an entirely different experience than a picnic in a secluded garden or in a public park. If I am invited on a picnic but I don't have all the information I might discover that I've been invited to a highway. Maybe everyone who's with me is great company and LOVES the thrill of the roadside. But I don't. If I say I don't like the highway I am criticized because I wanted a picnic and here I am but I'm not enjoying it. If I was told in advance the picnic was on the highway I'd choose not to go but I'd still meet with criticism and the same reasons. Wanting something then NOT liking it once I have it. BUT it isn't just a picnic I want. I want the locale and the company. If I'm invited to a picnic in a garden I'd be much happier. Maybe the company would be awful but I'd still have a better time than the highway. And if I go back to the garden again with different company and have an even better time.

The trouble I see in my life right now is that I want picnics in gardens and I'm surrounded by people who only want picnics on the highway. I don't know other garden or park lovers. I don't even know how to find them. Either I picnic alone or endure the highway. This situation is confusing for the highway loving picnickers who see me as an overly picky curmudgeon and isolating and lonely for me. Hence the familiar but unpleasant situation of only ever choosing between 2 "evils."