15 years

Diane and I celebrated our 15^th anniversary this weekend. I am always amazed at how long we have been together and how much my expectations regarding our union have changed. Before I met Diane I was never in a relationship longer than 12- 18 months. The people I had been involved with were all deeply damaged in one way or another. Not that I knew that when we became involved but sooner or later their true selves emerged.

When I met Diane, I didn’t expect we’d be together very long. After about a year I really HOPED we would be together the rest of our lives but I didn’t want to count on it. I told myself if we were together for 3 years without incident then I could start to relax. When 3 years came I held my breath for another 2. After our 8^th anniversary I started to relax. And now here we are 15 years later. It feels so good. I feel like my relationship is the one and only thing that has “worked out” for me.

Not that this is 15 years of fantasy bliss. We have had some very rocky times. We’ve been right at the precipice of breaking up more than once. We struggle and work hard at our relationship. The thing that makes it worthwhile, the thing that keeps us together is the desire to be together. We both want our relationship to work out. If we didn’t both want this then things would be different. This is difficult to put into words but a very ham-handed way to put it is when I add up the plusses and minuses there are more pluses.

The sad part of this is that we live in a country where our relationship is not legally recognized. Our day to day life is no different than our straight counterparts, but we are denied the security and protections that our straight friends take for granted. Check out Freedomtomarry.org for information and articles on this topic including basic rights denied to same sex couples.

The good news is we are still together an have no plans in the immediate future to end this relationship. We are in this together for better or for worse in sickness and in health.

15 years baby!